Saturday...

My soul needs sunshine today.

 I think I lost a friend.  I'm feeling not-so-nice emotions about everything that went down.. tossed in with feelings of 'what the?','what on earth did I do?', and' her loss'. 

  So I'm glad and thankful its not raining still. I look out my window and see bright blue sky, and a clothesline FULL of clothes from the wet week. And sunshine!

I'm also glad and thankful for the beautiful (albeit droopy) flowers that Mr Man bought me on Thursday. They are sunshine. 

I'm stuck inside doing a uni assignment today. Its due on Monday. Today is Saturday. I rock.  (I'm saying that in a sarcastic tone.)  Its a big assignment. One learning table from a play experience, one analytic essay, AND a reflective essay, all fully researched and referenced. *groans*  I really cant see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. 

MOST of all, I'm thankful for the SUNSHINE that is Mr Man. He has been busy doing all the housework today, bringing my breakfast to the study, then my lunch. And cups of tea and Mint Slice biscuits in between.  

He makes me happy... when skies are grey... (and so does Miss Dog who is very happy today because Dad and Mum are home and she is getting her 10 km walk.  Yes. 10kms. Overboard you think ? You dont know Miss Dog! )

Anyway, enough procrastination, back to uni I go. Hope you are all having a great sunshiney Saturday.. 

xo 

I try my best...

Yesterday I got an upsetting email which has made me think about life and how it changes, and how those changes affects your friendships .

Yes my life has changed, I met Mr Man, I moved to a different town. I'm not single anymore, my time is shared. I have new friends and new family members to build relationships with.

My priorities have changed. I'm in a different stage of life I guess.

And so yes, dear friends, its harder to catch up sometimes. Life gets a little busy at times, and lately, there has been a WHOLE lotta stuff dragging me down.

Wouldn't a real friend understand that? It doesn't mean that my friends dont matter to me anymore. I'm not dropping off the face of the planet.

Would I have been better off saying, " Hi Mr Man, yes I have fallen in love with you,  I think you are the greatest person I've ever met, but sorry,  I cant move away to be with you, because it might affect my friendship with <insert name here>" ????

I try my best. I make an effort, to plan ahead. To catch up when I can, to care.

The thing is, I cant do everything ALL the time.

There's full time work and all the take-home work, the daily two hour commute, uni study and assignments, seeing friends, seeing Mr Man's friends, seeing both of our families, housework to do, a home to make, a relationship to grow.

* sighs* sometimes it feels very overwhelming when so many people are putting pressure on me, and I'm putting pressure on myself to be this 'superwoman' woman. Because I want to be able to do it all.

But I'm just me.  and I struggle at the best of times.

My point is life changes. and when it does, I don't need friends giving me grief. I need friends who respect my decisions and support me, and make an effort back. 

Let me introduce you to Miss Dog.

Miss Dog is 25 kilos of pure delight. She is stubborn and strong and wilful and she likes to think she runs the household. But Miss Dog is also sweet and loving and a big sook.  She makes us laugh sometimes and other times, when she is really really naughty, she makes Mr Man swear. OOoooooh. (Mr Man never swears.)

I’m amazed at Mr Man’s patience with Miss Dog. He pulls her into line as we walk, again and again and again and again, teaching her to heel, halt, sit, stay.  Miss Dog won’t listen to me when we walk. But she listens to Daddy.

Miss Dog LOVES her ball.  She’s obsessed by it; the ball is ALL she cares about. She will bring it to you and drop it at your feet over and over again for you to throw. 

When I’m doing the laundry Miss Dog comes in to help. She has a new trick of putting her ball IN the washing machine as I put dirty clothes in.

”Whatcha doing Mum? Oh? We putting things in the washing machine ? OK !”

We do love Miss Dog.

Xo Mim

Hi there!

Welcome to my blog.

It is with apprehension that I begin this personal blog.

I’m scared about what people will think and what they will say, or how they will react. Worried that people are going to think I’m silly. Or stupid. or completely NOT interesting enough to have a blog for petes sake.

I had one once. A few years ago.  But the boy* that I was with at the time didn’t like it. If I dare mentioned one thought, idea, emotion, or fact on my blog that I hadn’t already told him? Wowsers. Look out. So my heart kinda still quivers a bit doing this again.

But that was then, and this is now, and I’m doing this for me. And it will be truth. Honest truth. It might be sad. It might be funny. It might even be boring. (Actually it probably will be.) But it will be real. So stuff em.

Because you see, every now and then I get the feeling that I might actually be a little bit ok. A wonderful person even.  A good sister, a fun aunty, a beautiful girlfriend. I’d like to have that feeling more often. I’d like to become a better person. I’d like to get real with myself and be honest and express myself so I can grow and learn and trust and believe in myself more.

Xo Mim

* I’m with a man now. Mr Man is my best friend, he’s amazing, 100% kind and supportive and understanding. I’m thankful for every moment I’m by his side.)