Leave. Stay. Lean.

As I’m getting ready for church, I think to myself that  Iwant to leave as soon as the service is over.

The dishes need doing. There’s clothes still on the line.  Ironing to be done.  Work to be completed before the next week comes knocking on my door. 

Fast forward two hours.. and I’m sitting in my chair as the service closes. 

And..

I don’t care about the ironing. Or the washing, or the dishes. Or the work.

I don’t want to go.  I just want to stay.

I’ve sung songs about God’s love and relentless grace.  Tears have streamed down my face. I’ve prayed and prayed. I have felt like my heart is going to burst with joy.

And I’ve been reminded that the most important thing in my life is my relationship with God. Everything else flows from it.

I dig out my Bible and am immediately prompted to Proverbs 3 :5.

‘ Trust In the Lord with all your heart and lean, not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight’.

Lean on Him.  Lean. As in transfer all your weight. I really need to start doing that,  because my life is heavy.  It feels real heavy right now.

I’m so thankful right now that Our God is THE God of healing, The God of freedom, the God of Grace and the God of absoulte POWER,  a limitless God.

And I pray that He will be ever so present and powerful in our lives.

enough.

There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.

And I have had enough.

I have sent an email to my trainer and I’ve filled a big box with everything study related – to go in the shed. I'm not doing anymore. 

I am three units away from completing a Certificate 4 in Training and my time is up in two weeks time.  I’m so close! I’ve put in so much time and effort so far.

BUT

I realised a few weeks ago that I had to stop thinking, doing, stressing and prioritising this study. 

I made the decision to focus on what was actually important – my husband, and supporting him every day, and myself, and actually practising some self care.

I needed to focus on our health and our wellbeing , our marriage and our happiness.  Its been a rough year so far and completing a Certificate 4 right NOW is not what’s important.

At first I was so upset about ‘giving up’ -  I’m a failure! I have failed! I haven’t achieved anything.

Its not like that at all.

I’m not giving up, I’m recognising when I’ve had enough. I haven’t failed; I’ve completed 9 units and when the time comes, I only have three more to do.

Do I feel good about this decision?

Hell yeah.

lego love

Mr Man has wonderful parents.  We are so blessed by his mum and dad. They have been married for something crazy like 37 years and they are loving and supportive and just. really. great. 

They live in a big brick house on a quiet country road surrounded in paddock. And cows.

Today they gave us an old container of Lego which Mr Man and his brother used to play when they were little. 

I LOVE Lego. I'm half Danish and I loved playing with Lego when I was a kid.

When we got home, I filled the bath with water and tipped the Lego in to give them a wash. 

As I looked at the pieces and swirled them around, I could just picture  Mr Man as a six year old, building; his little hands putting steering wheels and tyres on pieces. ( And probably fighting his brother for the good pieces.) 

 It made my heart smile.

Gloriousness.

I LOVE when I get a chance to stay in bed.

Every now and then, on the weekend, I have no reason to get up and rush into my day.

So I savour the opportunity to laze in bed.

I read. I think. I sip coffee. I reflect. I pat Miss Cat.  I relax.  Sometimes I close my eyes again for a while.

It. is. glorious.