Well. I have been totally re-inspired about healthy living lately.

I stumbled upon this blog – thewellnesswarrior.com.au, followed by this one – crazysexylife.com.

Two fabulously inspiring women who have both fought off cancer through healthy eating and living.

I read the e-book, I read some posts, I read some truths and it all really encouraged me to change my ways for the better. You only get one life don’t you.  I don’t want to be tired and sick and not at my best for mine. Not for me, not for my partner, and not for my children.

So.  For me, and my health and my life, and my relationships, I’m making some changes.

I’m trying NOT to go crazy.. I’m going to make small changes one at a time so I don’t crash and burn.

Today, we bought a blender. Its gorgeous. Its silver and black and flashy and I just took it out of the box and its now sitting on the kitchen counter.  Because you see, you need a blender for all those fresh and tasty juices and smoothies.  This unexpected and spontaneous purchase was fun. I’m excited!

Now, first on the list of changes is coffee. No more coffee for this little one. I am going to have one cup of tea with no sugar in the mornings instead, and herbal teas during the day. ( and yes, I know, I’m still having caffeine in black tea. Just let me get through the first week, and then we’ll talk more kay?)

Secondly, I’m going to make myself (and Mr Man if he wants) at least one healthy smoothie per day. I bought lots of greens and fruit today. And if you mix it all up with some coconut cream, apparently it tastes pretty good. I still have to go buy some kale and some stevia . ( I had to google both those words to find out what they were. There is no shame in Google.) 

Thirdly,  I have to try and drink lots more water.   If I could surgically attach a water bottle to my hip I would. 

Now I would include exercise in this. Excerise is the bomb! It is good for you in about a thousand different ways.  But unfortunately, I’m still recovering from dislocating my knee. My bearded but strangely attractive physiotherapist tells me I need to wear my blue leg splint for another week at least so my knee can heal.  I can only walk for about 15 minutes before my knee starts to throb and swell.  So exercise will have to wait for another week or so unfortunately.

I also really want to start YOGA.  Being a highly sensitive person, I’m prone to anxiety, stress, frustration and general emotional breakdowns for no good reason.  I have a feeling that yoga is for me. I have a yoga DVD all ready to go!

I’m going to do this and I’m going to feel great for it J

everything to gain

Today I’m trying to remind myself that I matter. 

What I feel matters. What I think matters.  My needs matter.

And sharing, communicating, opening up doesn’t have to make me feel vulnerable and scared and hurt.  It doesn’t have to end in tears.

I am already enough.  I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Things could have been different.  How I felt could have mattered more growing up. I didn’t have to feel that I wasn’t good enough almost every.single.day.

But I did. For too long.  And damm it, damm it, deep deep down , its still there. 

the food we eat

Over the past few days, I've thought a lot about the way I eat, after reading and discovering a great 'healthy life' blog called Pay Now Live Later. (Check it out at paynowlivelater.blogspot.com). I also watched an informational video about the Primal/Paleo way of living and eating, which you'll also find on this blog.

 I think its quite obvious that the most influential factor on our health and bodies is what we EAT and cant really understand why doctors dont see the link. I'm sorry, the results show that you have *insert horrible disease here*.  WHAT DO YOU EAT???

Anyway, that's one of my thought processes this week.

I love the idea of eating only food which has five or less ingredients. 

and not eating ingredients that you cant say ?

 Great idea, because otherwise what is it that you are putting into your body exactly ?? 

 And that is the truth. Which means that every single thing you eat or drink is one or the other. 

Doesnt it?

SOOO true

Fun with Miss Dog

Miss Dog spent the day at the vet yesterday. She now has a row of stitches on her lower abdomen, no reproductive ability and we are $700 worse off.   Miss Dog has strict instructions, she’s not allowed to run and jump for at least 5 days. Preferably ten.  This is laughable. If you knew Miss Dog, you’d be laughing right now.

I set her up in the lounge room first thing in the morning. Toys, blanket, water, barricade so she can’t leave the lounge room, tiny play pen in the corner. I sit at the dining room table with my work.  She sniffs around the whole room. She grabs at my dressing gown and starts trying to pull it off me. She grabs my notebook and starts to chew the paper edge. She grabs my scarves from the hat stand and starts to chew on them.  She knocks my water bottle down off the table and starts to chew on that.

She continues to smell everything around the room and then comes back to jump up on me.  She wriggles her head under my arm to reach the laptop and starts sniffing the keys.

Now I’m trying to get her in the play pen, she goes nuts, playing. She barks and me and takes off, running into the bathroom. She grabs a sock from the floor and jumps into the bath. I’m hobbling behind her, yelling.

Its been ten minutes since Mr Man left.  Great start.

I pull her out of the bath with lots of resistance and hope that her stitches are still intact. I finally get her back into the play pen where she looks at me mournfully.  I’m sorry. Miss. You aren’t allowed to play. What an awful thing to say to a puppy.  Now she is curled up in her corner, resting.  That’s better.

Ten minutes later she’s up at the table again trying to pull down whatever she can find. I take her outside for a walk. She drags me and my stiff braced leg around the yard. Sometimes she comes close to me and whacks the back end of her 25kg body against my leg. Ouch.   Right, back inside to do it all over again.

*Sighs* its going to be a long day. 

it struck me...

I’m writing this on Friday. On Monday, I dislocated my knee at work. To be more accurate, I dislocated my left patella.  So pain, ambulance, long wait, xray, brace, crutches later, I’m home for two weeks.  I can’t drive yet because I cant bend my leg enough to physically get into the car.

I’ve watched movies, finished my book, been to the doctor, organised paper work, referrals, Work cover forms, emails, phone calls etc. And I’ve done some laundry, reorganised the pantry, vacuumed etc. Just a little.   All the while, Mr Man has been telling me NOT to do anything, and to REST MY LEG. Which is fine but I want to do things, and I’m stubborn sometimes and the pain isn’t that bad.  I’ll be fine. ‘Little Miss Independent’ somebody said.  Hmmm.  

Anyway, I’m over being stuck at home. Over It. . . So last night I announced, tomorrow is Friday. I’m going to try and drive.  I want to go here and get this, I want to get this, I want to leave the house.

And Mr Man gently but firmly suggested that I don’t. That I have to stop and let my leg heal and maybe next week I can drive.  That it won’t get better if I keep using it.

“I should have taken the week off to look after you’ he said.

I replied. “ I…… don’t need taking care of…  I’m fine! .’

 ( which is SO typical of me.)

Mr Man, stopped, turned around, looked at me straight in the eye and said

 “Let me take care of you’. 

And then he said it again, stopping at each word in emphasis.

‘Let.  Me. Take. Care. Of  You’.

And then it struck me. It really did.  I have to let Mr Man take care of me.

 I have to let him love me.

Me being a stick in the mud stubborn and independent is robbing him of being able to love me in this way. And that’s not fair.  

That’s the beauty about love.. its about wanting to be looked after as much as wanting to look after.  I want to take care of Mr Man as much as I love how he wants to take care of me.

So, I’m home today. I’m not going anywhere. I haven’t done any housework.  

I have rested my leg as much as possible.

And you know something else ? Mr Man is right. 

For the first time, I Googled my injury.  And the physio injury page on Dislocated patellae states that:  the most fundamental component to recovery is that the patient rests sufficiently from ANY activity that increases their pain until they are symptom free. 

Well. There you go.

I love you Mr Man. 

I'm not a tree

Well it’s been a few weeks, it really has. I got busy. And stressed and lost my ability to cope at work it seemed. And I got sick. Twice.  First I had a bad cold which knocked me down and stole my voice.  I recovered. Then I got a stomach virus which knocked me down again. I wasn’t happy at work. I was stressed in the traffic and at home?   I loved being home but I had this big black cloud of UNI hanging over my head. I couldn’t relax. I knew that I should be doing uni every night after work, and on weekends. And I would feel so stressed and guilty when I didn’t.    I was spending a lot of time on uni and that didn’t leave much time for anything else, or anyone else. And it just wasn’t working. Something had to give.

So I stopped uni. I just stopped. I threw it out of my mind. I emailed the uni and said I’m out for a while. Maybe I’ll enrol in November. Maybe I won’t.   It just wasn’t worth it. In three years’ time, I’d rather have a strong happy relationship, than a degree. I’d rather have a job and have my emotional and mental sanity, than a degree.  I’d rather have close friends and family, than a degree.

And now?  I feel so much better.  I work all day knowing that when I get home, I can relax, I can breathe, I can enjoy my home and Mr Man. And the weekends are even better. We do stuff. We socialise. We work on our house, our future. I continue to breathe and relax and that means, come Monday? I’m ok. I’m ok for the week. And THAT is a beautiful thing.