The last few months have been. Really hard.

I lost my car. Well, by lost, I mean, we decided to trade it in for a brand new truck. A fantastic awesome truck which we love but which I cant drive.  Yes, that’s right. I’m 30 years old and I am yet to learn how to drive a manual.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but I lost my freedom, and my independence and ability to get in the car and go places on my own. And that meant a lot to me.

At the same time, I’m learning how to drive this big new truck with its clutch and its gears and I just wish I could do it.  But I cant. I try and I fail and then the voice within me, that ‘I’m not good enough’ voice gets louder and louder.  

And it just gets a lot. I’m frustrated with myself and my inability and the amount of bloody emotional shit that I have to drag into simply learning how to drive a manual.

AND then… I left my job. Which turns out also meant a whole lot to me (who knew right?) I got a job much closer to home, better for me, for home, for my family. 

I had a new job to tackle with, a shitty job and I couldn’t talk to my friends every day like I used to.

Now I have another new job. Its frustrating and stressful and very overwhelming.  I’m not a big fan of ‘labels’ but I’m a highly sensitive person and this job leaves me completely overwhelmed and overstimulated every day so I’ve just been feeling much more stressed and anxious ALL the time.

So that brings us to this point and my new found desire to express and love and share and enjoy my life in a new way.

AND at the end of each day,  I am ETERNALLY grateful for THE most wonderful man by my side who is nothing but a constant calm and anchor in my storm of life. I LOVE our life, our home, our pets, and our future.