epiphany of the week

  

Over the last few days, I’ve realised something.  

Not only do I love time alone ( I kind of knew that), I need it.

A few weekends ago, we went out for dinner for Mr Man’s birthday with some great friends. One of them made a comment about his wife’s alone time at home. And she laughed and responded saying that she loves being alone.

I thought about that for a few minutes as I ate my meal. Yeah, I love being alone too. Just time to be and do whatever, by myself.

I had a hard day the other week and after work, I didn’t want to go home. I couldn’t. I needed time to.. unwind and quieten the scream inside of me, the tension, the stress, the frustration and anxiety from the day. So I didn’t go home. I went to MacDonald’s and I sat near the window. I sipped a hot coffee and I watched people walk past and I breathed.

When I got home, an hour later, I felt better, in a better head space,  able to communicate and love and be available and contribute to my family and my home.

Then there was another day that I shouldn’t have come home straight away, but I did.  And I was cranky and frustrated and stressed and it wasn’t a good night. Not for me, not for Mr Man, not for our home.

 So, I’m not coming home now. That’s right; I’m not coming home until I’m ready.  I’m going to go have a cup of tea.  I’m going to lie in the park. I’m going to sit and watch water flow down the river.  I’m going to breathe and relax and forget about the hardness of the day and remember the beauty of my life. 

And that will help. THAT way, I can come home and I can smile, and be happy and I can love.