I had one of those nights the other night.
The 'I cant sleep, anxious heart' kind of nights.
Do I want to talk about it? Not really.
Do I know what was going through my mind ? Not definitively.
I don't really understand why I have such nights.
Perhaps it stems back from childhood.
I'm too sensitive to other people's moods all day, and at the moment I'm struggling with insecurity.
I've been trying to climb out of this hole and be happy because I have SO much greatness in my life and I have SO much to be grateful for and I am, I am grateful. I dont want to take anyone or anything for granted.
A part of me is scared that Mr Man will get sick of my current address of struggle-town and leave me.
( He wont, by the way. I know that. But I dont know that.)
I feel better today. My week at work was.. ok. Better than the weeks before.
And I have an action plan. A plan to get a better job.
And I'm looking forward to catching up with a friend this weekend.
I've set myself a goal, you see. To spend time with one friend every weekend.
I havent seen any of my friends for such a long time. I just dont talk to anyone, I talk to Mr Man of course which I love but its not the same.
A girl needs friends y'all. Women folk, girl talk. Sister hood. that kind of thing. So I'm having breakfast with a DEAR friend in the morning, and then next weekend, I'm going out for a drink in the Valley with another.
And it will be good. It will be great.
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